Are You in Rupture or Repair?
SARAH farrell 
Origin story you may relate to where crisis is always opportunity showing up to heal and repair
If you're new here, welcome. I want to share a chapter of my origin story
—not because I need to relive the pain, but because you may be standing where I once stood.
In the long dark. Wondering if you’ll ever feel safe, whole, or purposeful again.
I share my story because healing is not linear. It’s not glossy. And it’s not always visible.
But it is sacred.
And this is one of the many ways I let the work work on me—especially when it looks like nothing is working.
In the years leading up to 2003–2004, my body had been whispering, then screaming.
I snapped my Achilles tendon—my body said no.
I was stuck in a toxic marriage and a failing business, worn down by a narcissistic partner
with a drug addiction I only discovered too late.
I was financially and emotionally devastated.
I checked into a mental health facility, ashamed and shattered,
wondering how the strong, successful woman I once was had disappeared.
In Chinese medicine, tendons and ligaments are governed by the liver.
When grief and rage have no place to go
—when we’re too afraid or don't feel safe to express them
—they get stuffed down and stored in our bodies until it can't hold them down anymore.
Explosve rage and unexpressed grief become dangerous to your health and others.
You have to water your wood or the tree (body parts) will tear or break.
And mine did - sounding like a gunshot.
Here is a short clip on the messages from your ankles
I remarried. Had a baby. Built a successful healing clinic.
I trained in depth psychology, the Bodytalk System,
somatic therapies, Chinese medicine, and more.
Serving others, witnessing their healing, change their lives
humbled me - gave me purpose - grounded me.
It gave me financial security, allowed me to travel, to hire mentors and
further my education in neuroscience and functional medicine.
For 15 years I supported thousands on their healing journeys.
Along the way, there was no shortage of challenges—constant power failures (load shedding),
water cuts, and an increase in violent crime.
Despite living behind six-foot walls, electric fences, and security cameras,
in 2005 I looked up from my computer to see a man standing with my baby in his arms,
screaming—revolver to her head—while another man pointed an AK-42 at me.
It was a beyond-belief moment where time stood still.
There was no comfort. No protection. My husband blamed me for the invasion,
offered no support, no gratitude for the way I kept our daughter safe.
The betrayal was total. And I was terrified.
How could I leave and protect my daughter?
How could I fight for custody when I had a history of trauma
physically manifested as a "mental breakdown" and suicidal ideation?
The anxiety, my survival patterns, my protector parts said
"Stay, for now. This is temporary.Just push through."
And when you're surviving—you cannot think clearly, you cannot create freely.
You become who you must to endure. But my body never stopped speaking.
Gently, quietly at first, then turning up the volume, shouting to get my attention
through pain.
In 2019, I moved to the UK to save myself. I gave up my clinic, my career, my life’s work.
I grieved. I wrote. For six months, I poured my grief into words and published Until We Meet Again.
Days later, I landed in ICU with double pneumonia
—my tears turned inward, grief not witnessed or fully metabolised.
Another wake-up call from Spirit.
Then came the Section 21 notice.
Another home lost. Another wave of uncertainty.
And again, the pattern whispered: “Everything you love, you lose.”
But this time, I didn’t run. I listened.
This time, I saw it as sacred interruption.
God removing the story i was telling myself keeping me stuck.
Removing any and all obstacles standing in my way
An uncomfortable but necessary intervention,
a divine reroute to get back to the soul work I came here to do.
I stayed the path, felt my feelings, got curious about my nervous systems level of tolerance
and I slowed down so I could speed up.
It's been nightmarish, the whole experience has brought me to my knees
pushed me to the brink of madness until i surrendered.
I am happy to say when I got the wake up call,
caught the aha moment of WHY this happened for me,
everything shifted fast.
When I reached that turning point, and learnt the lesson.
My landlord withdrew the Section 21 and I have renewed my existing lease.
I know what I need to be and what I need to do next.
Everything is changing in divine timing now that I have course corrected.
Please remind me to stay true to my calling and take aligned action.
I know my survival patterns are strong and I will waiver.
My human makes it so, when my soul and the version of me
that knows without a doubt what she is here to do is getting stronger.
I’m reclaiming my truth. My path. My vision. My calling.
To help and support people and animals get to the root of their mental, emotional,
and physical pain. It's what I’'m here to do and have always done.
And now is the time to return.
To serve—with more truth, tenderness, and sovereignty than ever before.
It's a burn the boats moment
and it's an honor and priviledge to walk beside you to
MORE, safety, connection, health, joy, abundance and connection.
You are not failing. You are being rerouted.
Mantra to Hold:
“I listen to my body and follow divine instructions
with ease and grace.”
Doable Holy Shift:
Pause today and ask your body:
“What truth is my protector part not letting me hear?”
" Is this anxiety or fear? Hint if it doesn't kill you it's anxiety, your nervous system
doing its best to keep you safe and avoid pain.
“Fear = real & present danger. Anxiety = rehearsing old threats.”
Then listen, with love. Not judgment.
If my origin story resonates with you,
or if your body is whispering
I can't hold this alone anymore
—I’m here to help you decode what your body is saying to you.
I want to hear your story, so please reply to this note,
or book your Turning Point session.
You don’t have to figure it out by yourself.
You’re not broken.
You’re not dying.
You are transforming.
Let your body guide you home to your heart.
With love and gratitude
Sarah-Jane
PS: You’re not too sensitive. You’re responding to years of bracing for impact.
Your body remembers.
And healing means giving your bodymind new stories to embody and live fully into.
Let me be that certainty as you learn to befriend and tend to your nervous system.
Don't wait to be ready, your survival patterns won't let you book your Turning Point session.
Categories: : compassionate enquiry, spirituality, trauma informed coaching